We open with Gorilla using a time machine to go to the present day and he heard the news that RAW was going to three hours permanently. Actually, Gorilla and Bobby are back this week and they start talking about the WWF in Paris immediately. Gorilla said Bobby got locked up twice there but Bobby corrected him saying he got locked out twice because French keys are different that US keys.
SD Jones v. Sika
We're in Paris for this one and one has the feeling that Sika is not winning the match. This was such a boring match with nothing to it but strikes and nerve holds. In regards to the outfit of Jones, Bobby said some hotel in France is missing some curtains.
Later, Gorilla asked Bobby how has he adjusted to the language difference in France and Bobby said he's had no problems. Love and money are the international language: people are loving him and spends the money there. SD can't stay in control for long in this match before Sika pounds on him. Sika went for an elbow but Jones ducked and hit a sunset flip for the win.
Gorilla was surprised Bobby hasn't started managing Sherri, who is the women's champ, as he isn't managing any champions at this point. Bobby said he has no interest in women's wrestling.
Rockin' Robin v. Sensational Sherri-WWF Women's Title
Gorilla says where the belt goes, the money goes and that Heenan doesn't have any gold right now, and Bobby says to blame the officials. This was a mediocre match with Robin on offense most of the time and Sherri made her look strong. Sherri got control and dumped Robin outside but Robin went under the ring. Sherri didn't see this and went looking for her but Robin came up from behind with a dropkick and Sherri went flying outside herself and MSG popped big.
Sherri was really over the top in her mannerisms and selling and it was great as this made the match. Robin got some big offense going with a clothesline and then a bulldog but only got a two-count. She put Sherri on top and slammed her but she missed a disastrous leg drop the middle rope and landed hard.
I kid you not but Heenan said the women can't punch. Imagine the reaction if Cole said that on RAW. Robin was still fighting as she slammed Sherri and went back to the corner. Luck was not on her side as she missed a splash and Sherri rolled her up for the win while grabbing the tights. This match was probably a tad better than the first match from this episode but it wasn't much.
Bobby said he won't be at the Rumble this Sunday as Ted Dibiase set him up with a condo in Barbados to watch it with a bunch of island girls. Bobby then gave Gorilla a bag of imported cashews as a present, which Gorilla called weasel food.
We have an Update with Craig DeGeorge, whom Gorilla called Greg twice. Craig said he had earth shattering news that Hulk has agreed to defend the WWF Title for the first time Since WrestleMania III, against Andre the Giant on Friday February 5.
They showed clips of the Mania match and Andre's attack on Hogan on Saturday Night's Main Event after Hulk's match against Bundy. They also showed a recap of Dibiase buying off Andre.
Gorilla said there would be a title contract signing at the Rumble and he got on Bobby for not being there live saying he doesn't care. Bobby said he who doesn't look after himself usually doesn't do things and he wants things done. Gorilla might make some phone calls to make sure he doesn't see the Rumble at his condo in Barbados.
The British Bulldogs v. Brian Costello/Gino Carabello
The Bulldogs are wearing cute Matilda shirts.
Vince said that Matilda was there in spirit and that they were not the same team without Matilda as something had changed. They've become down and depressed and Bruno agreed with this. Jesse said that if your whole life revolves around a dog and if it can control your destiny, you're in bad shape and he also said the Bulldogs looked more vicious. This match was just a squash and the Bulldogs did look more vicious. Davey hit a press slam and later, a running power slam but he picked up Costello and opted not to pin him.
Both Bulldogs hit a vertical suplex as Jesse had convinced Vince that they were more vicious. The Islanders showed up with Heenan and DeGeorge as Dynamite hit a belly-to-back superplex on Carabello for the win.
The Islanders have a bowl of dog food and one of those invisible dog things on a leash and collar.
Bobby said that Jack Tunney reinstated the Islanders and if the Bulldogs wanted to know where Matilda was they should ask Tunney and the Bulldogs went to the back looking for him.
Gorilla hypothesized that Bobby returned the Islanders because he didn't want to dip into his newly acquired money to pay them during their suspension. Bobby said he was an honest guy and that someone had called him with a tip on Matilda's location, so he told that to Tunney.
Gorilla is on the phone trying to get a hold of Jesse Ventura to see if he can fill in for Bobby at the Rumble. Gorilla tells the person on the phone “he's in a cell?” and Bobby says to the camera that Gorilla is talking to his uncle. It turns out Jesse was filming a movie about a prison.
The Conquistadors/The Bolsheviks w/Slick v. The Killer Bees/JYD Bee/Animal Bee
George Steele is the Animal Bee and of course, JYD is JYD Bee and they're both wearing Bees masks. The crowd loved the faces in this one especially when they heard JYD's music play, which is totally awesome by the way. This whole match was as chaotic as you can get and very fun. The faces were in control and the heels couldn't touch them. One of the Conquistadors put a full nelson on one of the Bees and the other Conquistador came running at them and got back dropped for his troubles.
The Conquistadors were not very good in this match as none of their offense was working and they even collided at one point. JYD and Jim Brunzell got in there with Brunzell putting on a figure four leg-lock but Boris Zhukov made the save and turned the tide on the faces. There was 4-on-1 action on Brunzell and the ref could not maintain control for shit. JYD got a hot tag in but he got shut down quickly as heat spots started for the heels. Steele hadn't been in legally up to this point. JYD got totally destroyed by the heels with lots of cheating and a missed tag for the faces. Steele finally got the tag and went crazy and the Bees got in later and hit a double hip toss on one of the Conquistadors. Does anyone know if they ever gave them any actual way of telling them apart besides assigning numbers to them? JYD got back in and delivered a big swinging scoop slam on one of the Conquistadors for the win. The crowd was heavily into this match and that made it even better.
“Mean” Gene ran down the Royal Rumble coming up and brings in Dino Bravo and Frenchy Martin.
Bravo is not only going to be in the Rumble but he will also be attempting a world bench press record, trying to beat 705 lbs. Frenchy said they're ready and that Bravo will go heavier than 705. Bravo said that only one man can claim to be the strongest in the world and that he would also win the Rumble. What a feat that would have been!
Craig DeGeorge has a special WWF report on the Rumble. First, he covered Dino Bravo's bench press challenge with an interview from Bravo in French. Next, he ran down the WWF Women's Tag Team Title Match at the Rumble between the Glamour Girls and the Jumping Bomb Angels. Both gave promos including the latter doing one in Japanese.
Bobby said that the Angels asked “did you tell them to hold the egg roll or the extra sweet and sour?” Gorilla ran down the Rumble match rules and Bobby said Harley Race thinks he'll be #20 and Gorilla replied that he heard he was trying to buy a good number.
Very short Bad News Brown promo on how there will be no more good and bad news, just bad news in the WWF.
Dino Bravo v. Jerry Allen
Just a match to put over Bravo as Allen barely got any offense in and the match had no heat in Boston. Frenchy cut a promo in French to start things off. Gorilla told Heenan that he could probably get more info on the whereabouts of Matilda from Frenchy than he could with the Brain and Bobby left. Apparently, Frenchy can speak a half dozen languages fluently. Bravo won with his side suplex and during the replay one of the Boston fans called Dino a loser.
After Gorilla had called Jesse previously on filling in at the Rumble for Heenan, Ventura called back and said he could make it. Bobby asked to speak with him and then asked him if he wanted to come to Barbados with him but Gorilla grabbed the phone away from Heenan.
Hercules/Harley Race w/Bobby Heenan v. Billy Jack Haynes/Ken Patera
This match wasn't too bad but not quite as fun as the last tag match in the episode. One story for this match is the focus on the arm brace of Ken Patera from a previous attack by Demolition. Nick Bockwinkel thought he was wearing the brace as a weapon but Vince disagreed. The fans were very into Haynes and the match was a little back-and-forth in the beginning. Patera came off the top with his brace on Hercules but he couldn't stay in control. Race nailed some headbutts until Patera made the tag to Haynes who quickened the pace a lot. Hercules and Haynes had a great fast exchange of moves that included a Herc leap frog and a Haynes leap over and it ended with a clothesline from Hercules. Race hit a belly-to-belly suplex as Haynes was being isolated. Haynes was thrown outside and Race delivered a headbutt on the floor. Herc got Haynes back in and put on his full-nelson but Haynes fought it off and Hercules stopped it. They hit a double clothesline spot and Haynes made the hot tag to Patera who got shut down quickly. Race and Herc started working on Patera's bad arm but Patera reversed an arm bar with a hip toss and made the tag. Once again, Haynes lit up the crowd with his offense and delivered a press slam to Hercules.
He put his full nelson on Herc as all four men came in and Race hit a clothesline off the top to break the hold. The ref got distracted and Hercules nailed Haynes with his chain but finally the ref called for the bell and no decision was aired. However, Bobby did say in the studio that his team was disqualified.
During the last match and before a break, Bobby showed a Hulk Hogan toy lightswitch cover he had. He said he had them installed in every room in his house so that all day long he could walk through his house and put Hogan's lights out.
In the end, Bobby told Gorilla he could do the Rumble and still make his trip to Barbados but Gorilla said it was too late.
I hope you all enjoyed the write-up and please feel free to leave some comments. Follow me on Twitter @stevesgraps, thanks!